i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
