Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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