its not stalking. its research.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
