sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
