We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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