Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
be right there i have to get my cape
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
