How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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