Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
