I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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