yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
