My hair reeks of homosexuality.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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