I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
