I heard we made out
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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