i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
