How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
