Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
