i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
