The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
