Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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