How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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