I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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