So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This is classic penis vs brain.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
