Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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