Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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