That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
