People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
