I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
