Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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