i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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