ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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