Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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