he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
