Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
