my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Fuck appropriateness.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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