Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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