I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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