you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
