You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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