Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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