I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Terrible idea I love it
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
