dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
