Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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