Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
