it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
