Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
