shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
