This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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