Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
