Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
