You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
